Healing

You probably know this already, but I'm a musician. I used to play in a folk band a few years ago, and now I've taken up music again as a solo artist. Many of you also probably know that I have suffered from severe depression. One of my resolutions this year was to be more honest about that.* Whereas before I would seamlessly hide behind a mask of happiness and wellness, I am telling you straight: I have struggled with depression, I still struggle with depression, and even though you can't always see it, it's there. And I'm not the only one who suffers this way.

Luckily, something productive sometimes results from these bouts of depression. Usually for me, that something is in the form of music.

There are lyrics from this compilation of songs that capture exactly where I was in my darkest moments, and in some cases, where I still am.

Can you feel the winter war? Broken branches, shattered core.
Will you love me though the scars echo willows?


But as the lyrics turned to songs, and the songs turned to recordings with some of my favorite people at my side, I felt the beauty surface from those broken branches, that shattered core.

And then as my dear brother took a sort of "press photo" for me, he captured it perfectly. He captured those feelings, but also the quiet beauty of healing.

I will never be completely rid of depression, but as I pursue those things that bring me even the slightest bit of comfort, I can find healing.


*Other posts include this and this.

Attn: Fellow Bloggers!

I posted this on my personal blog, but I wanted to post it here, too. I think that all of my projects are connected, including my music. And I think that this CD offers a different outlet for similar things I share on the We Are Women blog. So take a look, and do let me know if you want to become involved:

Dear friends,

I am ecstatic to announce that my new CD, Winter War, will be available on Friday, March 30 (digital) and Friday, April 6 (physical disc). 

In anticipation of it's release, I would like to give my fellow bloggers an opportunity to review the CD on their blogs (even if you just have 3 readers, there is no limit). In this case you will receive a digital copy of the CD for free ahead of its release, along with the album art and lyrics. You are welcome to review the CD, ask me questions about it, post a sample Mp3 to your blog, anything. Simply e-mail me at allisonabarnes@gmail.com and I will hook you up!

I am so proud of this CD. There are songs on here that go back to early 2009. There are songs written in the midst of broken hearts and in the deepest bouts of depression. And to put it all together, I have collaborated with some of my favorite artists to bring it to you. I love it so much, and I hope you do, too.

For more information on the Winter War EP, click here!

Love, Allison

Breaking Up and Creative Outlets

The first thing I noticed when I looked at the final tracklisting for my new EP? Just how many songs were influenced by men, or have references to former relationships in them. The "man with the silver eyes" in one of the songs? I can tell you exactly who that is. The final track, "The Slow Goodbye"? Written in the autumn of 2009, following a break up. And I assure you, I'm not the only one who finds a creative outlet for these sort of things.

Until early 2011, Leslie Feist was dating Broken Social Scene's Kevin Drew. In September 2011 she released her album Metals. There is an underlying darkness to the whole thing, with little jabs sweetly crooning out of Feist's mouth..."A good man and a good woman, can't find the good in each other..."

From 2008-2011, Florence Welch (of "Florence and the Machine") was in a relationship with a man named Stuart. Their first breakup fueled her 2009 album "Lungs," while their most recent breakup fueled 2011's "Ceremonials." In the latter, there are songs of devastation ("What the Water Gave Me") and of triumph ("Shake It Out"). It is clear that this was Florence's creative outlet, and my goodness, it did her good.

Check out Florence's performance of "No Light, No Light" at the 2012 BRIT Awards.

How do you work through a breakup?

Women in Music- Part One | "Girl Indie" is not a genre

I'd like to introduce you to one of my closest friends, Kendall. We have known each other since our middle school choir days, and continue making music together in our individual music ventures. Here are her thoughts on being a female in the music industry. -Allison

That's a picture of my band, "Cartoon Bar Fight." Upon first glance, you'll note that there is only one lady in this group--and that's me.

I have been songwriting, singing and playing in Cartoon Bar Fight for over four years. I initially started the group in Fall of 2007, during my first semester at San Jose State University, and was quickly joined by Dirk (the lovely fellow on the far right, who also happens to be my boyfriend), the only other remaining original member.

We live in the San Francisco Bay Area, and play indie rock music influenced by bands like Eisley, Radiohead, Feist, Brand New, Bon Iver, Neutral Milk Hotel and Arcade Fire.

I have certainly been spoiled to find such intelligent, respectful, creative and extremely talented band mates, and I love them all like family. With them, I don't feel there is much of a divide because of gender. I don't feel lonely, or like the "odd one out" or anything like that, and this is because we share common goals, interests and skill levels. Though I would love to have another woman in the band for vocal harmonies and duets (I adore the way female voices sound in harmony), we haven't found her yet.

Over the years, I've given a fair amount of thought to how gender plays out within our band, as well as in the lower levels of the music business. Getting in to the music industry is tricky for anyone, but it can get even more frustrating for women who are trying to make their way, due to subtle sexism perpetuated by band mates, family members, booking agents, sound engineers, folks in the audience, and even from ourselves. Allow me to count some of the ways:

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