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| by gary barnes |
I haven't always been the best girlfriend ever. I mean, nothing huge: I may have fibbed to a guy once to get out of the inevitable first kiss, and then that one time I dated my ex-boyfriend's roommate. Whoops.
But despite everything, my one regret remains the same: I didn't keep the quiet details of my relationship with X between just me and X.
Since learning about "love languages," (side note: I'm no expert, I just took the quiz in the back of the book), I now know that the problem was that I gave and received love differently than X received and gave love. But at the time, it wasn't laid out so nicely for me to see. All I knew was that I didn't always feel his affection, and it broke me up inside.
And then I complained to his sister about it.
There's a scientific term for that, and I could go look through my old school notes and find it, but I think you get the gist. If a couple is fighting, they shouldn't be revealing all those petty details to friends, neighbors, relatives, acquaintances. No good. (Unless it turns violent-- whether emotionally, sexually, physically, anything-- then please get help from an outside source). I learned this too late, and boy, did I give myself a big head smack in the middle of that college lecture.
So, Boyfriend X, I'm sorry that I was so terrible. I'm grateful that I was able to learn from this, but I'm regretful for dragging you into it. I wish I had known earlier how to care for our relationship as I should have.
Links:
Center for Young Women's Health: Healthy Relationship Guide
Promoting Healthy Relationships & Preventing Teen Dating Violence
Women's Health: "The #1 Time to Have His Back"
Since learning about "love languages," (side note: I'm no expert, I just took the quiz in the back of the book), I now know that the problem was that I gave and received love differently than X received and gave love. But at the time, it wasn't laid out so nicely for me to see. All I knew was that I didn't always feel his affection, and it broke me up inside.
And then I complained to his sister about it.
There's a scientific term for that, and I could go look through my old school notes and find it, but I think you get the gist. If a couple is fighting, they shouldn't be revealing all those petty details to friends, neighbors, relatives, acquaintances. No good. (Unless it turns violent-- whether emotionally, sexually, physically, anything-- then please get help from an outside source). I learned this too late, and boy, did I give myself a big head smack in the middle of that college lecture.
So, Boyfriend X, I'm sorry that I was so terrible. I'm grateful that I was able to learn from this, but I'm regretful for dragging you into it. I wish I had known earlier how to care for our relationship as I should have.
Links:
Center for Young Women's Health: Healthy Relationship Guide
Promoting Healthy Relationships & Preventing Teen Dating Violence
Women's Health: "The #1 Time to Have His Back"
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