Because Knowledge is Power

(AP Photo/Ted S. Warren)

The Salt Lake Tribune just released to the public a series of emails Susan Cox Powell had written to friends before her disappearance. While little can be done now, I think an important lesson can be learned from the release of the emails that Susan wrote to friends before she disappeared. If you know someone who is a victim or perpetrator of domestic violence, make sure you know--then let them know-- of the resources available to them. The decision to leave definitely has to come from the victim and can't be forced, and even then, a victim usually returns to her/his abuser several times before permanently leaving. But it's important that they know the resources available, that they have a safety plan, and that they know that they have friends who have their back 100%, no matter what.


Here are some resources for your consideration:


Creating a Safety Plan

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)

YWCA San Diego Crisis Hotline: 619.234.3164
or through email: ineedhelp@ywcasandiego.org

DV: Developing a Safety Plan

I think a lot of domestic violence victims are afraid to come forth because they don't want to be forced to leave their home, make all of those drastic changes, and have to face that danger of leaving the situation. But that's not the way that at least I was trained.

You cannot force a victim to leave such a violent situation, but you can give them the tools needed to make that decision when the time is right, on his/her own time. And that's what a safety plan is.

Here are two pieces from a handout I received while receiving my domestic violence counselor certification:

Again, please, if you are a victim, know that it is not your fault, and that there is help.

Previous posts on domestic violence here.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE(4673)

The Danger of Gender Stereotypes

I consider myself a feminist, but only in the sense that men and women are equal. I fully acknowledge that men and women are different-- physically and mentally-- and therefore are free to fulfill different roles in the world. Or the same roles. Whatever works best for the individual. But men and women should be treated as equals.

For that reason, while this is a women-centered blog, I'd like to take a moment to address gender stereotypes, particularly in the case of males.

Did you know that 1 in 5 men will be victims of sexual assault in their lifetime*? And yet, only 4% of sexual assault victims who receive a forensic exam from a local San Diego hospital are male. Additionally, at a local Naval base, only 15% of sexual assault victims who come forth are male. Where are the others?

Sexual assault can cause physical and/or psychological harm, regardless of the gender of the victim. And every victim has the right to get help. If you, or someone you know, is the victim of such abuse, you have the right to heal.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE(4673)

Info for DV Victims

"Domestic violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars. It is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and think loves you in return." 

- California Senator Dianne Feinstein

Over the next few weeks, I'll be participating in a domestic violence counselor training program. In turn, I wanted to pass some information onto you, faithful blog readers. I hope that these few bits of information will come in handy if, heaven forbid, you ever find yourself or a friend in the grasp of domestic violence.

Victims of domestic violence come from all age groups, religions, ethnicities, socioeconomic levels, sexual orientations... no one is exempt. Below is a common model used in identifying certain aspects of domestic violence.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, it is important to remember that it is not your fault. It's also important to remember that help is available.

One of the most basic precautions you can take is to develop a safety plan. It doesn't require any drastic changes immediately, but it is a plan that helps you be prepared if the situation takes a turn for the worst. The RAINN organization offers a great outline here to help you make a safety plan.

Here are some 24-hour emergency hotlines to take note of:

San Diego, CA:
YWCA: 619-234-3164
San Diego DV Hotline: (888) DV-LINKS / (888) 385-4657


Salt Lake City, UT:
Utah Department of Human Services: 800-897-5465


Provo, UT:
Center for Women and Children in Crisis: 801-377-5500


National: The Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)